I know quite a few people who, on the face of things, have it all – but somehow there is always something missing, preventing them from being 100% happy. It often does not depend on their nationality, job or bank balance. They all have this little voice within, forcing them to search for the answers. Some try to ignore it, hoping it will pass. Some, like the protagonist in my upcoming novel ‘Snow Job. The Big Game’ (https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B071YWNSZ7) try to run away, usually by abusing drugs, alcohol and destructive sex. But the truth is that we can only be truly happy by serving our purpose.
Of course, this is a lot easier said than done. I personally spent over 20 years trying to find my purpose, even though the answer was never far from the surface.
Here are the five instruments that helped me to define the direction I should take to find my purpose in life. I hope you will find it helpful. So:
1. Make a list of 100 things that make you happy. It is important to complete it within 48 hours. It can be anything from having a morning coffee to having sex with your loved one. The first twenty will be fairly easy to write. Around number forty, your brain will start running out of ideas. And here it will be important to let your emotional, illogical side to take over. Your true purpose should come out around number 95.
2. Go where your fear is. I am not talking here about the fear of walking alone in a dark lane, or of venomous snakes – these fears are fairly logical. What I am talking about is some kind of action that could push you outside of your comfort zone. It can be a very scary thing to do – and this is exactly why you should do it. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about it. Your talent lies where your vulnerability is. Being able to face that vulnerability is worth a lot – and by doing so, you are already halfway to happiness.
3. Listen to your envy. Envy can be a very constructive instrument in figuring out your purpose. There is nothing more painful than realizing your dreams will never come true. That’s why it can be very unpleasant to see someone else being successful at something that could make you happy.
4. Do it for yourself. Two years ago when I quit my banking job to write my novel (link) and make music (link), many people thought I was crazy. I lost a lot of friends, and I’m sure there was gossip going on behind my back too. And that’s ok. People will always judge. The more you deviate from their perception of ‘normal’, the more they will talk. The trick is to stay true to what you do and understand why you are doing it.
5. Embrace the change. Doing the same thing will result in the same outcome. If you start doing at least one thing differently in your daily routine, and dedicate some time and space to serving your purpose (or at least trying to find it), it will already create some change. Sometimes, even a seemingly insignificant action can transform your life forever. It is important to let these changes happen and go with the flow.
Following the path of your heart can be rather tricky but also very rewarding. What tools did you find helpful to determine your purpose in life?